that darn kat

I think I’m having Kevin talk to him for me when they play squash later. I am incapable of functioning when I have a crush; I need to either be dating someone or not have anyone on my radar whatsoever.  If he’s not interested I am wearing a super-slutty dress to our Ibiza-themed party tomorrow and so will just have to look hot and be an ice queen.  Which will only work if he actually thinks I’m hot to begin with.  And I don’t know if he does.

leaving the country for 6 months means he’s coming back

Yes. He was supposed to go to Paris for six months but his visa got denied so now he’s going home. He starts work in Boston in January. Which is probably not where I am going to live so it’s doomed anyway, outside of whether there is any reciprocal interest.

My crush peaced out at like 9p last night.  He had ridden up to the cabin with some people and they only stayed for like two hours.  My friends took a vote after he left and decided I should just tell him how I feel. (Well, my friend Sarah thinks I should just kiss him but that is not happening.)  My friend Kellie’s theory is that he is a pretty humble guy and would probably not think someone as popular as me (editor’s note: Really? Which version of my life in business school has she been watching?) would be interested in him.  But, like, this whole thing is pointless because a) if he liked me, he would make a move or at the very least not leave my freaking birthday at 9p and b) he is leaving the country for six months in less than two weeks.  So I keep trying to stop liking him but then I see him and it’s like ughhhhhhhh I really like him and why didn’t I figure this out sooner?

I’m going to stick with it because it’s entertaining, but the dialogue is really bad. Kerry Washington is clearly a very good actress as she’s the only one able to pull it off (and maybe her lines aren’t as bad as some of the others’?).  Also I didn’t trust the Prez from the beginning because, hello:

Carl killed Sam! Also, Abby (redheaded gladiator) seems like a character from Girl, Interrupted crossed with your naive, slut-shamey friend.  And the audience-surrogate character is more boring than Jonah from Melrose Place 2.0.  The dudes are the only ones who make sense as members of Olivia’s team.  But I am eye-rolling at “gladiators in suits.”

supcakes:

I want to be Chloe from Apartment 23

Aaaaaaah ME TOO.  Will probably watch every ep five times before they take this season off Hulu.

but also I feel guilty when I am away from him for too long.  At least a baby could hop a flight with me. Can’t really throw this fluffy joker in a Baby Bjorn and board a flight to Europe.

but I do not recommend getting any sort of pet unless you are absolutely certain that you have already figured out what kind of life you want.  Every decision I am making about what to do this summer has to factor in the exorbitant costs of having someone watch Oliver while I’m away/staying with friends.  I wish Oliver and I could have met later in life.

Just FYI, don’t do too much running all of a sudden! That’s how stress fractures/other injuries happen. I know. However: yay, running!

Thanks for the tip! I run 1-2 miles most days.  What is too much?

Today is the fourth day in a row that I have run!  I am really bad at it, but I went for a one-mile run this morning and another 1.5-mile run just now and I feel awesome.  I have also started drinking 20 cups of water a day.  My skin looks waaaaaaaay better. I start every morning with three hot cups of water with lemon (this was Madrid’s idea and somehow it is a really good start to the day).  Of the three items on my vision board (boyfriend who loves to travel, awesome job, hot body), being hot is the one most within my control so I might as well focus on that.  (Also getting a job. Don’t worry, Mom.)

Toss up between my brother: “Saw your haircut, looks good. Was going to write “get it, girl” on Facebook, but I thought better of it.”

and Patrick Bateman-esque guy friend: “I’m actually mad that you haven’t looked like this all along.”

Unless you count drinks with the Dutch guy I met in Shanghai, which I don’t.

Instead, I am sitting here thinking about how much I would like to fall in love again.

This message brought to you by Listening to Bill Withers Alone.

Progress!

then telling me I have a bad attitude. I think most people have a bad attitude while they are being yelled at.

I don’t think that’s what’s supposed to happen?

Look for jobs at your alma mater. They’ll get you some experience, provide you with killer insurance and a great salary, and will be nice and temporary. Admissions, alumni affairs, etc.

Thanks, but I really can’t add something else to my resume that isn’t relevant to what I want to do long-term. I already have major issues with the number of different industries and functions in my background, and throwing another industry in there is not going to do me any favors :-(. And being in the Midwest would put me far away from where I actually want to live, so it would be really hard to conduct a long-term job search from there because I would need to fly out for interviews.

I have nowhere to go. My parents live in the Midwest, I don’t have savings because I came out of nonprofit and decided to take ample advantage of travel opportunities (because I saw my lack of international experience as a major flaw — though my three-week trip to China was free), and I have nowhere else to stay. And I am now $140K in debt. I really don’t see the point in continuing to apply for the types of positions I’m actually interested in — and honestly, I cannot even conceive of a job that a hiring manager would see as a good fit for my resume.

Fun times in not having sufficient experience in any field you want to work in, trying to recruit for industries that don’t value an MBA, sending out 3-5 cover letters a day and getting no interview invitations, and spending a not-insignificant amount of time wondering why you had so little strategic career vision in your early twenties.  P.S.: I am also not at all qualified for traditional post-MBA jobs.

It alludes to recent “hurtful and disturbing” behavior by several key employees, including my hairdresser. But I don’t know if this means he opened his own salon and took a bunch of other employees, or, like, embezzled money. And Google is no help. I want to know what happened (and also whether/where I can still get my hair cut by him), but I can’t really ask the salon owner and be sure I’ll get a straight answer. Ideas???

Will probably have to take eight inches off instead of six, as previously planned.  This still leaves my hair past my shoulders.  Cross your fingers that this looks cool.  I have a formal tonight. This is what I’m going for.